Monday, April 30, 2012


It's a Monday! No doubt, you are all eagerly skipping into work today. You are filled with anticipation knowing that this week is filled with delightful promise of exciting opportunities and paychecks. Or perhaps, one or two of you have a slightly slower spring in your step and the anticipation is closer to dread than delight. No matter: it is Monday. You are ready to go! You have coffee in hand. You've opened your email. You've closed your email and decided that reading this blog would be a terrific enhancement to a week already filled with outrageous possibilities, or that it would be a good way to procrastinate—a way of making the weekend last just a little longer.

So, to kick off your week in proper fashion, I bring to you the following question: is there one thing that you can never refuse? It could be anything: Mardy's Munchies cupcakes, champagne, a man with a hang-dog expression on his face, hot Cheetos, or a massage from your old boyfriend. Is there something that breaks your willpower consistently?

Picture it: you are walking down the street. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. You're wearing something fashionable (and if you are me, it's because your friend has made a clothing chart for you), and you have a determined look on your face. You have things to do, people to see, and you will not be deterred from your mission. And then it happens. Perhaps you've seen the food truck of your dreams. Perhaps Tiffany (or Barney's) is having a 95% off sale. Maybe the phone is ringing and the name that pops up on your phone is full of dangerous (and best avoided) promise. What is your siren call?

I have few traditional vices. I'm not compelled by drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or a raging libido. I don't spend a lot of time with fast food or tanning beds. But there are still things I respond to strongly; attachments that will always be temptations. I'll drive 40 minutes out of my way for a cupcake, but it takes an act of God to get me to the grocery store. I'm supposed to avoid certain foods, but I will cut someone who gets in between me and cheese. Chocolate and I are absurdly close. However there are certain emotional attachments that will always create havoc in ways that my other temptations do not. I will always pick up that call or answer that email. I will always be aware of him. No matter how much I should avoid the situation, I find myself flirting with disaster anyway. Emotionally or physically unavailable men—hello, catnip.

And you wonder why I advocate hermit living?



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