Monday, August 17, 2009

Too Long

It is possible that I've been in LA for too long.

Sex Tape Cynicism

When I read on Starpulse (http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2009/08/17/eric_dane_aamp_rebecca_gayheart_sex_tape_1) that a sex tape was leaked involving Eric Dane and his wife (and some random woman), my first thought was not, "How shocking!" or even, "He's hot!" Nope, my reaction was "which one of them has a movie coming out?" Seriously, I just don't think the new season of Gray's Anatomy is sex-tape-leak worthy, so one of them has got to a movie coming out. Because otherwise, this is just stupid—I mean how difficult is it to keep track of your sex tapes? They don't tend to wander off on their own. Are you bringing them to parties because someone said they were showing home movies of their vacation, and you wanted to share, too? Because otherwise, they shouldn't be leaving the house. Also, you probably shouldn't mark them "Sex Tape, Please Don't Steal This and Leak It To The Press". Not only does that take up way too much room on the DVD label (and you like to keep those things pithy and neat), but it sort of seems like taunting—particularly unwise if you gave your assistant a terrible Christmas bonus.

Update: I've heard now that it's just a "naked" tape and not a sex tape. Well, sure. Who hasn't done that? That's the first thing I do when friends come over-- the clothes come off, and I grab that camera. Or, no.

Update2: Now it appears that he's not even naked. It's just the, seemingly stoned, women in bathtub. The third party insists that her computer hard-drive was stolen by singer Mindy McCready during some celebrity rehab stint after a fight. Folks, I could not make this shit up.

Odds Making

Also on Starpulse today, I learned that Robin Wright Penn is once again just saying "no" to Sean (http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2009/08/17/robin_wright_penn_rules_out_reconciliati). This is a sad thing, though not really surprising given the back and forth and back and forth and…. Still, yelling out, "Who had August in the divorce pool?" really isn't appropriate.


Non-Weather

The lack of actual weather in LA has solidified my love for weather porn. I should have gone into producing weather specials. I'm fascinated with weather. I see really only one problem: I don't really like to be in weather. So, I'd have to send other people out to do the filming because tornadoes terrify me. Also, hurricanes look like they are not quite so delightful to wander in, despite how engrossing they are on TV. Oooh, also, I hate snow unless I'm inside wrapped in a blankie with the heat flowing. Ok, so technically, I should be producing special weather programming from my couch featuring Rob Marciano. Or Reynolds Wolf. Or… well, any boy with a degree in meteorology who looks good wet while trying to hold onto his baseball cap, microphone and pants all at the same time. [Note: Chloe and I decided today that Reynolds Wolf sounds like a character's name on a soap opera or Harlequin romance. He is, in fact, a delightful and intelligent man with no signs of flowing, Fabio-like locks.] Or maybe I could just write weather related novels. @Toonses88 on twitter suggested, "The night was sultry" so I'm practically writing it already. No, I'm not desperately looking for ways to do something more interesting with my life. What makes you say that?


Radar Love

Maybe not so much radar love, but missives promising me astrologically sound love caught my attention. Clearly, my only problem has been that I've been gazing at men with the wrong astrological signs. It's not that I don't talk to them, they don't talk to me, or the hiding in the apartment thing. No, the universe has been trying to send me signs. Being appropriately beaten down by the Los Angeles "what-the-hell-is-dating-oh-you-mean-sex-after-more-than-the-first-hour-of-acquaintance-but-that's-so-1950" social scene, I took a gander. Yeah. This is also not about dating. This is about finding someone erotically compatible (a word I misspelled twice, by the way). Still, for all of you who are now curious:

http://www.aolhealth.com/healthy-living/relationships/sexually-compatible-astrology-signs?icid=mainmaindl2link3http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aolhealth.com%2Fhealthy-living%2Frelationships%2Fsexually-compatible-astrology-signs

According to this, I have an "enthusiasm for all things carnal".

Yeah. I haven't stopped laughing either.

6 comments:

Marisa said...

re: Celeb sex tapes- I think in this case, it could have just been stupid male ego shenanigans. Like, "Ooh, look, I had a threesome with my wife and a former beauty queen. Look at this tape!" And you show it to the wrong people, someone shady gets it, then there's problems. Especially since the cops are now looking into the tape. But yes, I've never understood celeb sex tapes. How effing difficult is it to keep track of things you DON'T want out there? I mean, I'm not the most organized person, but you better believe if there was some sort of compromising material of me out there (not even sexual, but of anything), I would know where it was every second of every day.

re: Robin Wright Penn- See, I was wondering if that interview was done while they were on one of their breaks. Because as far as I've heard, papers haven't been filed again...

Mel said...

is there a link to the actual sex tape online somewhere?

because i can see me enjoying watching Eric Dane having sex for a few minutes at least...

Kate, Dating in LA said...

@Marisa, ah the male ego. Always at the heart of the problem. ;p Interesting question about Robin. I guess we'll hear more about it in coming days.

@Mel, LOL!! I haven't seen a link, but happy hunting!

Dee Murray said...

@ Mel - there was a link, but apparently because the cops are looking into it, it has been yanked from the interwebs...que sera sera!

I love weather. I could easily become one with all things weather channel...what I am happiest about, though, is that I can click the weather off, and go outside into the sunshine & play! GRIN!!!

Kate, Dating in LA said...

Guys, check out the latest updates under the Sex Tape piece. Fiction has nothing on the reality these people lead. Who has naked bathtime videos stolen by another singer during a fight when they were living as roommates on celebrity rehab? Crazy!!!

bethany said...

Actually, he is naked in the "sex" tape. And not half bad, size wise...

Fleshbot.com has the tape... and it's a snooze fest.

McSteamy does not live up to the show.. that's got to be all writers...

But, yeah - I wondered, too, Kate. I've got enough insight into Hollywood to know that *shock*gasp* Right before a big premiere? HOW could you do this to me? (Where are the cameras?)