Saturday, August 01, 2009

Killer Bikini Waxes From Outer Space

I thought that title might get your attention.

I've never been shy about expressing which side I'm on in the war of the pubic hairs. While I applaud some basic caretaking, I'm just not down with visually reducing me to a pre-pubescent girl. I'm a woman. If you can't get turned on by me unless I look like a 9 year old then I'm out (also, probably calling the police and leaving an anonymous tip, but that's another story).

I'm not going to lie—part of my reticence regarding the rip-it-all-out-by-the-root-and-smile approach is my naturally prudish demeanor… and the descriptions of what some of you have gone through in order to get that ready for XXX close-up. [By the way, congratulations for surviving the decision to have hot wax spackled all over the southern zone.] For instance, I've got to know you pretty darn well to be happy about a command to get on all fours and shove my ass in your face. I know. I know. I'm ridiculous. But that's just me.

On the upside, the person working the anal/pubic tweezers does possibly have a worse job than I have. In fact, when I'm at work complaining about how dissatisfied I am with my job, I think to myself, "Well, at least I'm not tweezing someone's ingrown pubic hair right now." The worst days, of course, are the days where this little mantra doesn't work.

However, regardless of my own natural reluctance in these matters, I never once seriously thought that a bikini wax could kill me—you know, unless the term "died of embarrassment" turned out to be literal. But this article is something for you all to keep in mind the next time you let someone drip hot wax south of the border.

Please consider this my PSA of the month. Stay safe out there.


bethany said...

I always love getting a notification that you've written a new blog... ;o)

You always make me laugh..

One suggestion - when linking articles - if you want them to pop into another browser, which is good so people will still have your blog up to come back to, rather than hitting the "back" button, you can type target=_blank just after the quotation marks in the anchor tag.

If you want an example, let me know, is being ridiculous about me posting one here...

As for bikini waxes... uhmmmm... errr... not keen on something I'm willing to try and I'm pretty sure my asthma puts me in the category of a reduced immune system - that's what I'm gonna say, anyway.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Kate!

Penny Lope said...

lmao - i'm so glad i had set my tea down before i read that little treasure. I knew there was a reason to avoid waxing.

Kate, Dating in LA said...

@Bethany, you rule! I tried it, and it worked. :) Now all I have to do is remember that. Thanks! And yes, I think reduced immune system would make the waxing even scarier. Do you ever wonder who first came up with commercializing something like this?

Kate, Dating in LA said...

@Penny Lope LOL!! I live to bring dismay to my readers. :)

AJB said...

I've been considering getting a little wax down there for most of this year. But I think I'd only go for the bikini lines at most. I still may try it, but no appointment set yet.

Kate, Dating in LA said...

AJB, I think the biggest concerns are for people going for... um... complete deforestation. Though unless they are using an entirely new pot of wax each time, you are sort of sharing your nether wax with the wax of many nether regions. That makes me instantly calculate how hot the wax needs to be in order to kill the germs rather than just to incubate them. At that point, I run screaming from the room.