The wrong bra can equal death. Don't believe me? Of course you believe me, most of you reading this are girls. You know it's true.
There are few things on this planet that are likely to be annoy me faster than when I'm wearing the wrong bra. It can be a perfectly lovely bra when it's sitting in the drawer, but for whatever reason, when it's on, it's all wrong. It can be the wrong cut, the wrong color (as in, it's showing through your white shirt and while TV characters flaunt this look, most of us can't get away with it at work without being embarrassed), the wrong support level, the damn underwire could be carving the maker's initials on your left one—you name it.
Today I am wearing a ninja bra. It snuck up on me. Under normal circumstances, it doesn't show through my clothes, keeps the breasts relatively high and dry, and doesn't try too hard to shove the girls up and out of my shirt. Today—sneak attack. I kept pulling the back down, shoving the boobs over, pulling the shirt so it's looser… In your mind's eye, you can see the struggle as it escalated, can't you? I mean, an educated, professional woman should never be yelling, "Oh, yeah! I'll show you" because she swears the straps are conspiring to act as some sort of garrote resulting in her early demise. I was literally waging war and losing to the demi-cup I accidentally wore today.
It is entirely possible that this bra will make me so insane that the next person who steps foot into my office will be killed instantly because they will have said something incendiary like, "Hello". Or I'll be institutionalized for having a fight with my (under normal circumstances) unmentionables.
Thus, the wrong bra can equal death.
8 comments:
LOL! This is an all too familiar struggle, I'm afraid!
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAA!!!!! OMG!!! I have one bra that I need to just throw away. In the drawer it looks so harmless! And I always try to give it another go. But the minute I sit down in the car (it waits long enough so I'm out of the house & cannot change - evil thing) it fights with me all day til I've a crook in my neck & should be in traction. Another reason to never leave the house - no need for the nasty contraption!
@helen and @Dee Murray, I'm ready to chuck all the "pretty" ones and just stick to sports bras. It's a struggle to get into them, but once everything is in place, nothing is moving anywhere.
Absolutely hysterical! I know EXACTLY what you mean too!
What I hate is... I only wear underwires, b/c I need the support... and they only have SO many washes... I hate when the damn underwire decides to go all pokey-poke... and, I couldn't realize this just after I put it on, right? No.. it has to be a stealth poke - somewhere around the mid-morning break.. and then, I'm stuck with that sucker for the rest of the MFing day...
One of my most popular tweets and FB statuses, ever? I swear to God:
Best part of my day: Taking my bra off...
very nice. i appreciate it.
LMAO I hate those! I probably have like 3 of those evil things. AND they do always wait until you cant change. They look nice in the drawer, beautiful when you put them on, but take a walk far enough to not want to turn back to your house and POOF! It wants to be a dick. I really hate those bras... I am just as close as you are to just get sports bras and call it a day
I never like wrong bra, i am using fit size bra for me.
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