Friday, October 23, 2009

Well That’s Just Wrong

Angles

Do you ever pass a mirror and catch a glimpse of yourself that is so frightening that you actual stop to marvel at how ugly you look at that particular angle? Yeah. That just happened. I was actually frightened. And then I started imagining that this is why men don't speak to me. It's not because I'm "untouchable" or "off-putting" or "have fuck you stamped on my forehead in invisible ink that only boys can see". None of that is true. It's that they see me in that angle at all times and are actually using me as the inspiration for the next series of horror films involving gargoyles. On the bright side, at least I don't have to wonder anymore.


 

Reviews

I'm now curled up in my sweats with a glass of wine and my computer. In my fantasy world, I'd be settling down to write another best-selling dramatic novel or even better selling romance novel. Instead, the wine is fortifying me as I once again ponder how to best describe my most fantastic attributes on my annual performance review.

Good times.

Since I don't really drink, this should add thrilling and evocative elements to this review. In fact, I'm very seriously considering answering these questions in character. I tested the theory one year that they don't actually read my self-assessments anyway by including a reference to "needing a subscription to the psychic friends hotline" in it. It was never mentioned again, although it was missing from the final submitted form. Perhaps it was noted and dismissed for my own good—intervention by an employment guardian angel.

Sadly, I am stumped at which characterization to include. I must admit a Sue Sylvester approach sounds sort of appealing right now. My review of my performance and the department as a whole would be must more straightforward than usual. Or maybe each question should be answered by a different character! For instance, drunken Kate could answer the section on "execution", while romance novelist Kate could respond to "interpersonal relations"! I'm just trying to figure out how best to add the phrases, "his touch released a slow burn made my body flush" and "my breath caught as my gaze found his…my pulse quickened…there was no turning back now" into "teamwork".

This could take a while.


 

Charity

If you haven't heard me talk about the "Celebration of The X-Files" charity event, you must not know me in real life. It really does seem like it's going to be a lot of fun. Gillian Anderson (Dana Scully), Mitch Pileggi (AD Walter Skinner), executive producer/writer Frank Spotnitz and executive producer/director Rob Bowman will all be there. And even better, if you want to be there, but can't swing the tickets, my friend Danielle's site is giving away two general seating tickets to a lucky winner! It's true, they don't include the autograph session, but nothing would stop you from buying a ton of raffle tickets for a chance at a "Meet & Greet" with the panel before the event—and I did mention that getting into the event would be free, right? In this economy, free is a beautiful thing. So, check out here site if you'd like to give that a go: http://danielletbd.blogspot.com/2009/10/win-tickets-to-believe-again.html


 

Dating

Most frequent email question: "So, how's the dating coming". To this I reply, "Have you met me?"

10 comments:

Helen said...

Please, please, please tell me you will channel Sue Sylvester for at least part of the eval! And please bcc me when you submit it!

Kate, Dating in LA said...

LMAO! You're trying to get me fired, aren't you?

bethany said...

I LOVE Sue Sylvester... So widely inappropriate, and yet so entertainingly hilarious... but nothing compares to the God that is Puck...

I find it entertaining that you think to reply to your performance evaluation in characters... I hope it goes well.. ;o)

Penny Lope said...

lolol - if only i could blame it on the angles! I am continually surprised/taken aback and horrified all at one time when i glance into any reflecting-type object and see the person staring back at me -- with an equally horrified expression I might add, so it's not a ghostly image. Who is this middled-aged woman I wonder ---- *gasp* she is me?

<------runs screaming because, well, you know what happens next.

Angie said...

Ok, so I somehow stumbled upon your blog. And to tell the truth, I'm not usually into reading or following them; however, your latest post on Angles in parts, felt as if I were reading a transcribed version of an inner monologue. My inner monologue. Reflective surfaces are purposefuly used sparingly in my home, unfortunately others still have to look at me, more than I look at myself. To all of those individuals, sorry!! Haha, it's not easy being a woman these days. Anyway, good luck in the dating world. I know I need all the luck I can get.

Dating advice for women said...

Wow, great post!

katz charlise said...

thanks for the posting since i feel its close to me while reading.

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