Wednesday, April 30, 2008

How the...

I have broken my ass.

I don’t mean I danced it off. I don’t mean I’ve been working it off. I don’t mean I’ve busted my butt to accomplish something. No metaphors here.

I have broken my ass. And I don’t know how.

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve noticed a persistent tailbone ache. If I sit a certain way, particularly when working at home on the computer, it’s mighty uncomfortable. I went to the movies this weekend, and had to keep shifting my weight. Driving my car has moments of twinge.

Now most people bruise their tailbones because they are doing something creative and naked, and something goes wrong (or very right, depending on your take of things). I can guarantee you that not only is this not the case in my situation, but that I can barely remember the last time my tailbone was actually in any real danger.

I have not fallen. I have not backed into anything. No one has tried to beat me senseless either with a 2x4, or with their wit in weeks.

Dee thinks I have a secret life. If I do, it’s news to me. Perhaps, my ass is having a better time than I realize. Although I do try to keep it with me as often as possible, so I’d like to think I’d notice something like that. Then again, I’ve been very distracted lately.

No, I think that I’ve sat on it for so long, that it has finally had enough. I have this visual of my ever expanding cheeks angrily trying to strangle my tailbone. Seriously, as they get bigger, they are actually growing inward. And now the tailbone is striking back! I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that I’ve reached a stage in life where my bones are actually bruising from inactivity. Careful kids, sitting on the couch can be bum-deadly!

Swell. I was worried that it would take years to get to this level of decrepitude.

Now I have to figure out how to explain to work that rather than propping myself upright while feigning interest, I will spend the next few weeks supine. I’m sure people can just step over me.


Saturday, April 26, 2008

They’re Stealing What?

“Penis theft panic hits city…”

I swear to you, this is a real headline. It’s from a Reuters article, so I don’t think it’s a hoax, either. Obviously, this is a very serious news story…very serious… stop laughing…I’m not laughing. Those tears streaming down my face and the shaking are all elements of fear for the men of Democratic Republic of Congo.

To summarize, the men of DRC believe that sorcery is behind rampant cursing of the always magical male equipment. In short (bada bum), men claim to be having encounters with people (strange men in cabs wearing gold rings are always good to avoid) capable of making the genitals “disappear”—as in making them either impotent, or leaving them with a very tiny package. People who have actually been arrested because the last time there was penis panic, 12 people were beaten to death after being suspected of the hexings.

Sure, it’s probably not health concerns, diet, steroid use, drug use, age, a sudden cold snap or genetics. I’d go straight for the witchcraft angle, too. It’s fascinating to read about a widespread panic based on male insecurity. Then again, there is this quote:

“It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny”

I’m not sure how this stranger at the phone card stand saw this guy’s… uh… problem, but I guess I might want to blame others to if this was the case. How are the police substantiating the claims? Are there before and after photos? That’s bound to be one hell of a police report.

Look, it’s not as if I don’t understand these concerns. I’ve had more than one penis stolen from me over the years. If I were the DRC police, I’d be looking for blondes, usually in their 20s.

Never say I’m not all about public safety.

Kate, who swears this won’t become a private parts blog… unless I keep reading stories like this

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Moonlight at Paley Recap

Another Paley evening means another tired and slightly bemused morning—but it was worth it. As I mentioned earlier, last evening I attended the last in the drama screening series at the Paley Center. It was a night with the cast and the creators of the CBS drama, “Moonlight”. The panel included Harry Werksman (Executive Producer), Brian White, Gabrielle G. Stanton (Co-Executive Producer), Jason Dohring, Eric Winter, Sophia Myles, Alex O'Loughlin and Joel Silver (yep, that Joel Silver).

To say the Moonlight fans were enthusiastic would be a huge understatement. They are very invested in the success of this show, and had a really interesting give and take with the panel. Kristin (from E!) was the moderator, and even she remarked that she had never seen a crowd so excited before one of the Paley events (LOL! She should have attended the X-Files event, which was probably close).

Disclaimer here: I watch Moonlight, but wasn’t there from the beginning. My friends PT and M were already big fans, and their interest made me go online to watch the first four episodes that I had missed. So, relative to the crowd on hand, I’m a novice. As one fan humorously told the panel (specifically, Alex, I think), “[we] know more about the episodes than [you] do.” This is a good environment for me to observe rather than participate because I knew any question I might have had for the panel would have been stupid, and clearly something discussed already on a message board somewhere. I kept my head down, and tried not to embarrass PT.

PT had two goals: Meet Alex O’Loughlin and not get arrested. Good solid goals for the evening, particularly since I had limited funds to extract her if she got arrested. I assume she would have needed no extraction from Alex, if that had worked out. Alas, she did not get to meet him one on one. Normally, the clips are shown before the panel, and then the fans get a chance to meet with the cast/creators after the event. For this one, they showed a full episode (fans who weren’t there—you’re going to be pretty pleased with Friday’s ep) at the end, and the panel left. PT did go down as the screening was starting in hopes of a glimpse, but sadly, not meant to be. I heard somewhere that some of them were heading back to set, so that must have been a long, long evening for them.

Some of my favorite moments from the evening:

1) Sophia Myles on why she couldn’t give blood at the blood drive that was being held in conjunction with the event (long story—fan driven event): Apologies, I’m not able to give Blood because I’m from England. Apparently, we might still have mad cow disease [much laughter], so I did try, but they said no.

2) The accents! Intellectually, I knew that Alex O’Loughlin was Australian and that Sophia was English, but it did throw me a bit when they began speaking. Joel Silver joked as each of them started “he’s Australian, he’s not doing an accent” and “English, she’s English, another accent”.

3) The crowd reaction to Eric Winter talking about joining the cast was very entertaining. Look, this guy is hot. As an observer, I can see why having a very attractive man add some sexual tension to the story could be a good thing. But I know any time a woman showed up on The X-Files, I got a little tense, too (Diana Fowley, anyone?). Kristin kept mentioning that she missed Eric on Brothers & Sisters. He pretended to use the big scales: “Kevin or Beth, Kevin or Beth” – which actually got him booed (but not in a mean way) because fans are always going to be protective. Kristin explained, “If you are moving in on Beth, I think they want you back on Brothers & Sisters”.

4) The interplay between Alex and Sophia was very entertaining. While discussing their on-screen chemistry (which they both think is hot on camera):
Sophia: “I think because our relationship is so strong and platonic—I often think when people get involved outside of work, chemistry onscreen goes—but because we’re like brother and sister…”
Alex: “Which is why I just say, No, Sophia” [laughter] “They are friends, they can know”

5) Listening to Joel Silver talk about the process with his other producers was enlightening. I’m sure there is a certain level of frustration with not really knowing what the show’s fate is, but they seem to be planning for an engaging and intense second season should they (when they) get that pick up.

It was a really entertaining evening, and if you have been a casual fan (or if you are a new fan because of Eric Winter), now is the time to check out the show.

As a side note, for those of you keeping score at home, I’ve spent time in the company of 4 of my 5 men of distraction in the last two months. Duchovny in February. Nick Lea in March. George Clooney in March. Alex O’Loughlin in April. Sure, there were hundreds of other people there, but I think it still counts. I even had the opportunity to add #5 (Jon Hamm), but I was so exhausted from The X-Files Paley event, I didn’t go to the Mad Men one the next day. Still—not a bad spring, distraction-wise. I have to hope my late spring/early summer is equally enticing!


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

More Moonlight at Paley

Moonlight at Paley

Another night in Los Angeles surrounded by handsome men. I know, you'd think I'd be tired of this by now. Oh, wait, no that's crazy talk. But I did enjoy another night at the Paley Center. Tonight's screening and Q&A was with the cast and creators of the CBS show "Moonlight". I'll write more on this later, but for the moment, I'm loading some of my favorite photos from the event (all thanks to Dee who sacrificed her camera to the cause!).

(as always, click on the small photo for a much, much, much larger version)

Sunday, April 20, 2008

NSFW: Only in LA

I’m a prude. Rather than pretend otherwise, I’m just going to embrace my more brilliant, uptight qualities. I still blush. I’ll still exclaim “Oh, my” when I see things like the full frontal shots in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” (although, Jason, you are a brave man with nothing to be ashamed of—well done.)

Having said all of this, you must understand that Los Angeles, much like New York before this, has been a learning experience for me. I honestly believe I’ve had conversations here that people elsewhere probably do not have, or am I just out of touch in addition to being rigid?

For instance— how many of you have had conversations about vaginal rejuvenation? I’ll be honest; I wasn’t entirely certain what it was. It sounds sort of relaxing – perhaps a form of really intriguing massage, or herbal cleanse? Or it could some form of pep talk specifically designed for the zone—although someone yelling you are good enough, strong enough and darn it, people like you, to my vagina would probably traumatize me more than rejuvenate me.

Then I found out what this actually was. Apparently, you can surgically tighten up all the related areas south of the border. One ad I saw indicated that you could be “tight as a virgin” again for your man. Well, yippee. Hands up if that actually sounds good to you because I’m finding the phrase “hell, no” rolling around my brain. Once was quite enough, thank you.

Obviously, if you’ve had trauma, I get why this kind of reconstruction would be important. But as a way to give your man a special surprise? I don’t think so. Again, leaving out the possibilities of having many children or trauma, who came up with this? I’m willing to bet it was not a woman. Apparently, the procedure has come a long way, but initially it was difficult to control. So much so that normal sexual function was excruciating afterwards—but hey, as long as things were tight for the guy, who really cared, right?

Men have sagging issues, right? Gravity pulls certain sac like structures southward, too, right? Are there men lining up for sac lifts?

I will say one thing, though; I may have found one of two really great ways to get out of work without any further questions. Seriously—the first time someone questions why you are taking so much sick time at work, just throw out the following: “I’ve had complications from my vaginal rejuvenation surgery”. If anything other than silence or sputtering follows, you must be in LA.

The second “no questions asked” reason for calling out of work: complications from anal bleaching.

This is another topic of conversation so rarely heard outside of Los Angeles. I swear to you, I have heard the following sentence uttered: “Oh, he won’t date anyone who hasn’t had her asshole bleached”.

Let that sink in for a moment.

I have a number of questions, the first of which is, how the hell does someone you’ve just met know one way or another? Is it the way you walk? Because I can see how you might walk funny for a couple of days. Is this a question I’m going to face on a first date? When I’m filling out my online forms, should I not be shocked when this rolls by among the top five questions that my potential date wants to know? In addition to the war on pubic hair, do the women of Los Angeles now have to wonder if the color of their anal ring is pleasing? Should we be shooting for pearl, or something so white that the glow can be seen from space?

Normally, I’d say that my ass is not in play. But if it were in play—you know, after 20 years of begging from my loyal and dedicated husband—there better be nothing but obsequious gratitude directed my way. What should not be directed my way is the following: “Uh, so, you gonna keep it that color?”

I’m not here to judge. Goodness, who among us hasn’t thought, “Gosh, I’d love to burn my anus with a highly caustic agent tonight”? But seriously—what are we doing to ourselves?

Kate, re-thinking the whole convent thing

Friday, April 18, 2008

Dating by Michael Scott

For those of you who did not see The Office last night, this quote will make no sense. But I think it pretty much sums up my thoughts on being single, as well:

"I like it. I like starting each day with a sense of possibility. I'm optimistic, because every day I get a little more desperate, and desperate situations yield the quickest results." Michael Scott

God bless the writers of The Office because not only did they provide us with an incredibly warm and fuzzy Jim and Pam moment (hands up if you squealed when he said he bought that a week after they started dating?), but it provided me with a sure way of actually getting a date—forever known as The Michael Scott Method.

In fact, I think I’ll employ MSM today. When I get to work, I’ll hand everyone a 3x5 index card and threaten to fire them (or have them fired if they don’t actually work with me), if they do not provide me with the name and phone number of an eligible man. Sure, the Draconian measures might slide dangerously close to illegal, but it could be time to step up and do the unexpected.

Why didn’t I think of this before? It’s brilliant. I’ve been reluctant to let people set me up on blind date’s, but I have said yes. Oddly enough, both men disappeared and were never heard from again, but that wasn’t my fault. I hadn’t even met them yet. It couldn’t have been me… or the prospect of meeting me. Probably.

Just put aside a little bail money—that’s all I’m asking.


Sunday, April 13, 2008

A Dinner Dare

Please enjoy the following excerpt of a conversation I had with my male friend, O, about bidding on a charity auction to have dinner with David Duchovny and Nick Lea (it’s loosely reconstructed, but you’ll get the idea).

O: “$4,000 for dinner? “

K: “Yes. But it’s for charity.”

O: “$4,000 for dinner??????”

K: “Yes.”

O: “But, you’d rather be tortured than go to dinner.”

K: “True.”

O: “You’d spend $4,000 to be tortured?”

K: “Uh…”

O: “Is someone naked?”

K: “Excuse me?”

O: “Is someone naked? As in, are you eating dinner off of someone?”

K: “Um, I don’t think David or Nick have added that to the description of the evening’s activities.”

O: “Do they expect to be eating stuff off of you?”

K: “What kind of restaurants do you go to?”

O: “$4,000 for dinner?”

K: “It’s for charity.”

Sigh. It’s very difficult to explain the temptation to other people who are actually sane, and who don’t actually face the reality of this particular enticement.

The conversation started with a simple question: what would you pay to win an auction for dinner with someone you admire (or desire)? For me, the limit appears to be $4,000. It’s probably actually much less, but $4,000 is the top of what I could justify for curiosity masked by the guise of charitable giving. It’s also the rough amount of my refund, so it’s not something that I would miss. O never did give a number for how much he’d be willing to spend on Jessica Alba (or would have spent before the engagement and pregnancy aspects arrived).

I’m curious what your number would be? If David Boreanaz, or George Clooney, or Alex O’Loughlin, or [fill in the blank here with your most appropriate distraction] were up on the block for dinner (wait, why does that sound like you are actually eating them? Yeah, that’s not right. Also, gutter minds, I can see you) what would you spend?

Oh, and before you ask, no, I haven’t bid on the auction. Why? Please let me illustrate with this handy equation:

Dinner + Stress + Night = Disaster!

There was a small problem with the eBay auction, and they had to re-list, but the high bid before that happened was in the neighborhood of $3,000, so it was within my “drop-dead-and-hide-my-face-with-shame” bidding range. But I haven’t done it. I just can’t. I seriously don’t think I’d ever live through it.

If you know me, you know that dinner is not something I enjoy doing normally, particularly on someone else’s schedule. Dinner at 4pm is a lot more palatable (pun intended) than dinner at 8pm. My body just finds food after a certain hour unacceptable even under the best of circumstances, and my life of early wake up calls has left for even less wiggle room. I mean, Wolfgang Puck catered the Leatherheads after party, and I still didn’t eat (Chloe said the food was beyond wonderful). Dinner has the potential for physical complications, so I avoid it. Bidding a lot of money on dinner seems vaguely suicidal.

Did I mention that dinner combined with stress is rarely a winning combination for me? There is more than one reason that I fear a return to dating. First dates are stressful—except for the handful of you (like the Ex) who find getting to know new people “exhilarating”. Sure, it’s exhilarating—much like being thrown off a bridge without the benefit of crash mats below, or the limited comfort of a bungee cord. If you thought my clothing dramas were bad when trying to figure out what to wear to Leatherheads (an event that was essentially watching a movie in the dark if you forget the party portion), can you imagine what I would go through in order to dress myself for something like this? Hell, I’d spend another $4,000 on possible wardrobe options alone.

Also, dating should never involve food—at least not in the early stages. Even if you love to eat and don’t risk the possibility of violently re-introducing your dinner to your date, you do risk the threat of embarrassing yourself. Who wants to embrace spaghetti on a first date? The sauce alone is a high-wire act. Ever start carving into your nice, juicy steak only to find out that your new date is a vegetarian and can barely conceal his horror?

Yes, I realize that I wouldn’t be buying a “date” with David and Nick. First off, I don’t love the idea of dating two men at once in general terms—I certainly wouldn’t be comfortable with the literal sense. Second, even in my most hazy star-filled dreams, I don’t play those reindeer games with men who are married, or are in committed relationships. Also, I’m pretty sure paying for a date is edging closer and closer to the whole “prostitution” thing which is rarely linked to charity (although now that I think about it, I bet the charity would end up with a lot of money that way). Lastly, men don’t look at me for any reason, so even if these two men were single, reality would never be that kind.

I know what you are thinking, “if you hate the idea and don’t think you’ll live through it, why do you keep checking the auction site?”

Well, it’s not like I don’t appreciate every opportunity to beat myself over the head with the possibilities. It’s only the very real chance of having to finish the event in the hospital that keeps me from clicking on that “bid now” button.

DM did bring up an interesting point: if I could live through this kind of evening then actual dating won’t be nearly as painful. That’s a hard one to argue. I could look at this as extreme practice dating. We’d have the painful elements of dating, night, inferiority complex and stress, but without the other issues like having to return a phone call, or the threat of ever seeing the date again.

I know, I know—you well-adjusted types are yelling “how do you know this would be a bad thing?” or “this could be a great opportunity to network, increasing the chances of working with these guys someday”. To all of you, I just shake my head and laugh. No amount of daily affirmations ending in “and darn it, people like me” is going to erase a few decades of ineptitude when it comes to relating to men.

Regret? Now, that could be a winner. I’m looking at a mental scale with all the dangers associated with this type of reckless hopefulness on one side and the prospect of regretting inaction on the other. And right now, they are dead even.

What would you do?

Bid early, bid often:


Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Bones at Paley

I went over to the Paley Center this evening to see the seminar and screening for the television series "Bones". This was the first in a three part drama series that is going on in April. I’ve always enjoyed the show when I’ve seen it, but I’ve really just been a casual viewer.

I have to say, the rapport of the cast and creators was so amazingly entertaining, that I’m going to have to really start paying attention to this show. There is a genuine affection and respect among this group, and you can see why the banter works so well on screen—it’s because it works pretty darn well off screen, as well.

As with most shows, Bones was hit hard by the strike. It derailed (or at least delayed) some character exploration for “Zack” (Eric Millegan) relating to his character’s time in Iraq. Oddly enough, Eric’s real life brother is starting his second tour of duty in Iraq. The executive producers talked about how difficult it was to get the show geared up again after the strike, and about how they were very much hoping that a SAG strike can be avoided (well, except for John Francis Daley, aka Dr. Sweets, who joked “Oh, it’s happening” to hilarious effect for the audience).

The banter between Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz was priceless. At times, it was easy to get lost and end up seeing the characters rather than the actors given some of the back and forth. I can’t even begin to explain how we got from the possibility of Bones and Booth getting married and having six children (remarkably slim, by the way) to David claiming that he wanted to have children with all the women on the show—but we got there, and it was pretty damn funny. I sincerely hope the footage ends up as one of the highlights featured at the Paley website.

They also spoke a bit about Kathy Reichs’ involvement. Apparently, she does review scripts and gives notes. They did hasten to note that Bones is not reflective of Kathy’s real life.

All in all, it was a really fun evening. I wasn’t able to stay for the screening after the panel, but I am looking forward to seeing the new episodes starting next week.

Check the website for highlight clips and photos!

Kate, who discovered if you stand downstairs at Paley rather than taking your seat right away, you can see the stars as they come in for the press call (helpful tip for those traveling in to see the Moonlight panel in two weeks)

Monday, April 07, 2008

Quick, Call a Doctor!

Arguably, my most successful relationship, certainly in the last few years, has been with television programming. My TV shows and I are very close. I’ve been through the ups and the downs: plane crashes, mysterious islands, surprise pregnancies for a barren mother, abductions, demon possessions, vampires and amnesia—and those were just my own personal issues last Tuesday. But I love television. I love getting wrapped up in stories and seeing characters really develop.

I should be ecstatically counting down the hours, minutes and seconds until all my shows return from the strike-imposed hiatus. But I’m not. The thrill is gone. It’s as though I don’t care. Clearly, this is an indication of some sort of imminent breakdown. Do I need a prescription of some sort?

At first I thought it might be because there has been such a long interruption, that absence has made me forget the rush of a new episode. But then I remember that I watch a lot of television on cable where nine months to two years can come in between seasons. So, it can’t just be interruption.

Is it disenchantment? Perhaps. I’m reminded of the baseball players strike back in 1994-1995. It took years for the fans to come back.

Is it an acknowledgment that this is just a short-term reunion? Probably. It’s not that it wont be great to see 4-8 episodes of whatever shows come back, but it’s not enough for me to care about getting re-involved in shows that held only moderate interest before the strike. Also, with all the concern of a potential actor’s strike looming, I think the back of my mind has already written in delays to the fall season, as well.

It’s not as though I’ve been without stories. I’ve just turned to books, fanfiction and in some cases, cable has provided new visual entertainment. And while I am looking forward to The Office and Moonlight, I’m not even sure I could tell you the names of the other shows I was watching in the early fall.

How do I get the feeling back? What will make me put down the books? How do I rekindle my love affair?

Kate, feeling very “eh” about the whole thing

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Auto Trader Commercial?

Has anyone else seen the new commercial? The commercial takes place in a bar. A lovely woman goes up to a guy and introduces herself. The guy immediately asks her how old she is. She replies, uncomfortably, that she is 37. And that's the end of the conversation. He tells her that he's looking for something younger-- much younger, and then leaves.

The point of it is that for autotrader, you can now choose the "age" of your used vehicle.

It's funny, in a painful, tragic way. Always nice to know that if I were a used car, I'd be headed for the junkyard.


Kate, thinking it's time for a new paint job

The Email and Other Thoughts for the Weekend

The Email

Back before my life took an unexpected George Clooney turn, I committed the text message sin. We had the big, dramatic goodbye scene at the reunion, and for reasons I cannot fathom, I decided to add a “to be continued” to it. Seduced by the informality of the medium, I sent birthday greetings into the ether in the direction of the Ex, only to yell “wait, no!!!!” when I sent it. When I got a reply email, I chickened out and couldn’t open it. I decided to wait for the weekend. Friday night is date night, so I got a glass of wine, and opened it. No drama. It was lovely, chatty and informative with just a touch of groveling to excuse his missing my birthday (as well he should!). While I still haven’t written him back, I’m sure I’ll get my fingers moving soon. So, the result is no harm, no foul and no tension with the situation. And I’ve started breathing again, so that’s a plus.

Baby Mama

Have you guys seen the ads for the new Tina Fey movie? She’s had no luck with relationships, and she is in her late thirties and has decided that she wants to have a baby. Hilarity ensues as she chooses her surrogate. Normally, I probably wouldn’t be all that into going to the theater to see this movie, but Tina Fey’s hapless character is named Kate. How can I not go? Characters named Kate are apparently always romantically-impaired, and it’s time I embrace the legacy.


Despite being preternaturally cynical when it comes to the whole concept of love and Prince Charming, I’m quite enamored with the movie Enchanted. So much so, that I had to buy it on DVD. I love that the little girl thinks she’s going to have to give up her bedroom after learning that her dad wants to get remarried and have the wife live with them. Plus, there’s nothing like singing along with “I’ve been dreaming of my true love’s kiss” while scrubbing the toilet.


Saturday, April 05, 2008

Leatherheads from Variety

I thought this was cute. How adorable is John in this? Also, I'm scanning for me and for Chloe because the cameras are pointed right at the door.

P.S. You'll have to manually remove the mute on the player.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

For a Good Cause

If I could figure out how to link directly to the relevant page, I would. But I'm technically moronic, so that's not happening. Instead, I will paste in this letter from Nick Lea (aka The X-Files Krycek and hottest religious figure (on Men in Trees) since Father Ralph in The Thorn Birds) and tell you to check out his site for more details.

As an aside, I will now be contemplating how to crack open my piggy bank for this auction. Plus, I seem to recall the government say that there is totally no tax penalty for accessing your 401k early for important things like dinner with David Duchovny and Nick Lea. No, really. I'm 99% sure that's in the literature. Would I lie to you? Of course I would, but this time I'm really pretty sure.


A Letter From Nick

Hi Everyone!

Myself and some other friends have a very close compadre that is suffering through a life threatening bout of cancer. She was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago and it has now spread to her liver. Our friend Babz Chula is a widely unique and wonderful person. She is a highly respected and talented actor. She has a heart the size of Texas.

She has chosen a particular course of treatment that is not covered by our medical system in Canada and we, her community, have gathered in an attempt to help her through a very scary part of her life. To this end we have organized a number of fund raising events to help cover the cost of this very expensive undertaking.

Beginning on April 2nd 2008 people will be able to bid online for dinners with some of their fan faves from in front and behind the camera. David Duchovny and I will be available for dinner with the person who wins the bid. Chris Chris Carter is also up for grabs. I've put up some of my favorite articles of clothing from the X Files, etc. There is a complete list of actors available for dinner bids as well as other great memorabilia.

This is something that we are behind passionately. Babz is a close friend. She needs our help now. I ask you as a favor to not only take a good look at the website but to also consider a manageable donation or if the spirit moves you to bid on a dinner with David D. and I and others.

It should be fun.

Thank you so much for ALL your support. Thank you for your kindness. Please spread the word as far and wide as you can. Babz is a stranger to you all but believe me when I tell you that this is a worthy cause. You can find out all you need to know at

Thank you. Lots of love. See you at dinner.


Auction is now live at:

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

The Clooney

My goals for the evening were pretty simple: 1) live through it, 2) enjoy the movie, and, if possible 3) see Clooney at the event. Oh, and not get arrested. That one was important, too. I’m happy to report success on all fronts—although that gleam in her eye could have meant trouble for Chloe had she not decided to keep her hands to herself. ;p

Hollywood Blvd. was pretty much shut down on one side so that the limos could drop people off on the red carpet. Our limo (aka my 10 year old car) was parked in a parking garage, and we walked up to the event from there. First of all, there were a lot of people behind the barricades cheering. Naturally, I thought they were cheering for me, and I was tempted to yell back, “I know! Can you believe I’m here?” But I didn’t. Plus, at some point I realized they were probably yelling for one of the stars walking the press line (nah, it was probably me). It’s a very interesting feeling to see and hear all these people, and then be one of the people ushered in by security. While I generally don’t love “ma’am” to be directed at me, I did love “right this way, ma’am, enjoy the evening” as security guided us safely inside.

Alas, this might have been a tactical error. We should have stayed outside a bit with the press to see some of the people working the press lines. Instead, we were pretty business-like. We found a bathroom. We checked our make-up. Then we hung around in the lobby trying to look calm, cool and collected—ho hum, we do this every day. That probably would have worked, if Chloe and I hadn’t squealed when we recognized Hiro from Heroes walk in the door.

Having our “we do this all the time” covers blown, we went in to take our seats. We had followed the rules to the letter because we didn’t really want to be tossed out before the action started—oh, and we wanted to see the movie, too. ;) The invite instructions said “no cameras or recording devices allowed”. So, we left the cameras at home (note: we actually went to an event where they confiscated cameras and cellphones with cameras for later pickup, and we wanted to avoid that). Sure enough, we take our seats, and every other person in the theater had cameras with them. Lesson learned: ignore directions and pick up spy camera to wear as glasses.

While we were sitting there we saw a number of celebs come in (you can see them all at, and right before the AFI presentation started, we noticed John Krasinski take his seat. He’s hard not to notice, actually. Obviously, he’s boyishly attractive and charming, but he’s also really tall. That one is going to stand out in a crowd no matter what.

It was 7:30, but no George.

My friend LD had warned me that the celebs frequently do the press line, but don’t stay for the actual movie, and opt to head directly to the party instead. I figured George might have made the move to martini a bit earlier—if for no other reason because he directed this movie, and he might be nervous about the reaction. So, I settled in to see the movie. The AFI presentation was lovely, and the introduction of the movie was made.

And then there was a pause.

For before the movie rolled, AFI wanted to take another small moment of recognition for the inspiration, “your quarterback”, the director, Mr. George Clooney.

And there he was—looking chagrined, yet pleased; the delightful Mr. Clooney was being treated to the simultaneous swiveling of 999 heads in his direction. Now, I’m not one to wax poetic about an attractive man (shhhhh, that epic Duchovny piece was just between us), but I might just be inspired at some point to write a sonnet, or two, for George. This man is a star. For all I know he’s a complete jerk on a personal level, but his public persona is pretty darn charming.

An aside for a moment about Leatherheads—it’s a fun movie. It’s very stylish. The banter is in the tradition of the 20’s/30’s movies and the performances were solid. It never takes itself too seriously. It’s just a good time.

He stayed until everyone left the theater. He stood on the aisle and spoke to anyone who attempted to talk to him. So, naturally, we stopped to speak with him, and now we’re doing lunch next week. OR we remember this is my reality, so I didn’t actually speak to him at all.

Now before you throw stuff at your computer screen, let me explain. When we came up the aisle he was talking to several young children. The girls were dressed in formals, and they looked like little princesses. The boy was dapper complete with styling hat. So, the talented and enchanting Mr. Clooney is also nice to small children. I realize that we were standing right next to him, and he was practically done speaking to them anyway. However, I distantly recall my parents mentioning that shoving small children out of the way to babble incoherently at a dreamy star, is actually bad form. So, I resisted the urge. There was a brief moment where Chloe contemplated pinching him, since she was awfully close to his hindquarters, but she also refrained. Please feel free to admire us, and throw large sums of money our way for adhering to some of the niceties of polite society.

Plus, we thought we’d get another shot at finding our courage at the party. Unfortunately, we never did see him there. He may have only stayed a short while, and departed through one of the side doors. But we did see tons of actors from The Office who were there to cheer on John. We also saw Goran (plays Luka on ER), who was pretty dreamy in his own right. And I think, with 99% certainty, that we saw Kid Rock.

All in all, it was a good evening. I only got 4 hours of sleep between the party and having to get up for work, but going a little sleepless every once in a while is probably good for the soul. However, I may need about a month to recover from all this social time. I wouldn’t want it to warp my otherwise normal, hermit-like psyche.

Kate, already thinking of sleep