Jury Duty

Are there two words that make you groan more often than “jury duty”? It’s not that I don’t understand my civic obligations. I do. But I appear to be the State of California’s favorite juror. This is my fifth summons in seven years. I think we can all agree that this is a tad excessive. For the first time ever, I nearly contemplated shredding it when it came. None of my friends get called as often as I do.

Then you know what everyone said to me? Don’t worry, they’ll never pick you. They never pick smart or outspoken people to be on juries. It’s bad for the defense.

Well, on the one hand, that’s very sweet that they think I’m smart and outspoken. On the other hand, I’ve been placed on a jury twice. So, um… yeah.

I’d like to say that among my highlights of jury service has been the meeting of wonderful men, full of dating potential. Not so much. I do remember a particularly lovely person a couple of years ago—juror #8. I never knew his name, and he was not placed on the jury. I watched him walk out of the room with a deep sadness. I spent the next two weeks wishing that both his intellect and his lovely eyes were still around.

Today had some promise. As usual, I walked through the hall in my own world. I sat down on a bench waiting for the doors to the assembly room to open. Much to my delight when I did clue in, I noticed that I was sitting next to a man who looked suspiciously like the man who played Sark on Alias.

Things were looking up.

True to form, Sark-A-Like has shown absolutely no interest. I’ve smiled, and he’s looked down. I’ve said things like “thank you” and “excuse me”, and he’s nodded. He’s talked to the guy on the other side of him. He’s talked to the woman in front of him. He has not looked at me.

He has no ring. He’s a little young, but I’m revising my age restrictions in both directions anyway—at this point, I can’t afford to be too specific. He’s clean and presentable, but not metro. He appears to have an unhealthy obsession with his iPod, though.

Short of hitting Sark-A-Like on the back of the head, I’m out of ideas. Plus, I understand that California’s jury system frowns upon anything that resembles actual acts of violence in the jury room. I know—picky, picky, picky. I mean, they drag us down here, and then they severely limit the entertainment factor.

Any words of wisdom from the peanut gallery on this pressing matter of national, strategic importance?


Kate, hoping to be in this jury room all day