Definition Please

I don't know a single woman who dates in Los Angeles. Not one. It's not that I don't have single female friends. I do. But it is almost as though we've collectively put a moratorium on dating. No dating, no drama. It's the club motto. I'm having t-shirts made. ;)

But it's January. It's a new year. Bring on the drama. We WILL DATE!

There's just one thing.

What exactly constitutes a date in today's less than romantic climate?

I know a guy who had sex with a girl, but didn't consider it a date. What the hell?

Luckily for me, my first forays back into the dating world are somewhat less fraught. For instance, I've tried to get my friends to count my dinner and conversation with the guy sitting next to me on the plane as a date. So far, none of them are buying that one. Sure. Fine. Whatever.

How about this:
If a guy I've been friends with for years, but don't see often, asks me to lunch?

Normally, I'd say no, but I've been wrong before with male friends. Romance hasn't crossed my mind, but suddenly events take a turn. And I hate having to mace a friend-- tends to make things so awkward later.

Also, in the friend category:
What if a guy I've known a little bit through work says "Maybe we could get together for coffee when I'm in town?"

Date? Sounds ridiculous, but I got this one wrong, too, once. A guy asked me for coffee. My response was "you mean, like a date?" His response was "why do we have to define it". Which I've learned means "I'd like to keep my options open depending on whether or not you are as entertaining as I remember, and by entertaining I mean wearing an easy access bra".

Does this all fall to me? If I have single guy friends, are they always open to reinterpretation?

In other words, can coffee just be coffee, unless you shave your legs? ;)

I need definitions. I need rules. Guidelines. How to Manuals. Otherwise, every time a guy speaks to me, I'm going to print it here, and ask for a vote.

Kate