Social Skills

In preparation for the leap, or timid one toe approach, into dating, I’ve started reading a lot of material about “what men want”. Much to my consternation, it appears that men want women who have social skills. It was #3 or #4 on their list in a recent article I read.

The one guy interviewed said that staying home once in a while was fine, but one of the benefits of having a relationship is having someone at your side at events, functions and parties. I initially scoffed because to me that translates into “would really like a designated driver with me at all times so I can get wasted and not worry about it”. But maybe that’s just the cynic in me ;p

I sense trouble here.

I have never been considered a party girl. Hanging out with a couple of friends is about as wild as I get, and even that takes some convincing at times. I think a key problem is that I don’t really drink and being around drunk people tends to make me nervous. You see… they tend to pick me up. I don’t mean that they try to come on to me. I mean they literally try to pick me up. I’m very short, and for some reason drunk people tend to want to physically hoist me somewhere. You're thinking, "so don't go to frat parties". Sure, but how do you explain a barbecue with work colleagues? Very odd, but I do have witnesses to the phenomenon.

But beyond the wariness at being tossed over someone’s shoulder, I tend to be the observer at social events rather than the participant. And under “all work, no play” there is actually a photo of me. Clearly, given that socialization seems to be a priority in the dating world, I’m going to have to take a deep breath and adapt.

For this, I will look to my friends for valuable lessons in all areas—dating, girls night out, happy hour, even vacationing. Vacationing? Well, at least the packing part because these girls know how to pack. When I set out to make a packing list, it goes something like: clean underwear, jeans, t-shirts, allergy medication, eye drops, book, laptop (because I can’t actually remember the last vacation I took when I didn’t have a way to check in with the office), etc. My friends Chloe, Veronica and Grace got together to plan their packing list for a house-sitting stint in Vegas. It went something like this: vodka, olives, shaker, raspberry juice, inflatable pool float/raft and fix-a-flat. I can honestly say none of that would have ever occurred to me.

I have much to learn.

Unless, of course, that mocha grande guy is also a quiet tv watcher/book reader. In which case, I will lure him into the wonderful world of hermit-ville that I have come to call my own.

Kate, Dating in LA.. uh...eventually
katedating@yahoo.com