Wishful Thinking: An hour after I quit my job, my future path will be clear.
Reality: Oh, it's clear alright. It's clear I have no idea what I am doing.
Wishful Thinking: When I quit my job my apartment will be immaculate.
Reality: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Seriously, I keep losing stuff. The Apartment is not that big. I spent 10 minutes searching for free weights this morning. How do you lose free weights in a one bedroom apartment? It might have something to do with the fact that I keep moving the furniture around every 2-3 weeks.
Wishful Thinking: Once I leave this all-consuming job, I will write every day.
Reality: To be fair, I do use a pen every day. So, that probably counts. I should have been more specific.
Wishful Thinking: Once I leave this all-consuming job, my laundry will never pile up.
Reality: Hello, laundry, I promise to turn to you again at some point.
Wishful Thinking: Once I leave this crazy "all time zones" job, I'll be able to sleep in every day (until I start work again).
Reality: Well, I don't get up at 4:30 5 days a week anymore—4:45am is really so much more respectable. Go me.
Wishful Thinking: Because I wasn't open to the other opportunities in the universe while I was working, those opportunities didn't come to me. This will all change.
Reality: Perhaps the opportunities got lost, only had my work address and are even now trying to track me down?
Wishful Thinking: I will have time to read.
Reality: I've definitely started a book since I quit. I have every intention of finishing it someday.
Wishful Thinking: I will travel constantly.
Reality: I constantly watch shows about other people traveling. I'm currently pretending that I'm doing my due diligence just in case I ever need a home in Argentina. You never know.
Wishful Thinking: Every day I will wake up and choose another exciting thing to do.
Reality: Every day, I wake up. So far. Knock on wood.
This transition into my new and exciting life has not exactly gone to the wishful thinking plan I had. It's not that I thought it would be easy—nothing ever is for me—but I did think I would be more focused in one particular direction. I thought at least one pursuit would jump out and scream "give this a shot." Instead, I'm going to have to start clubbing opportunities over the head and dragging them back to the apartment. If only I knew where to find them—though I suppose it would take an act of God for me to approach them once identified anyway.
Hmmm.
4 comments:
My dear you will find your way, of that I'm certain. It is never too late or too soon to change directions so you are right where you should be.
I love how self-deprecating you are, darling. First of all, focus all of your efforts not on writing, or on physical maintenance, but on securing for yourself a Sugar Daddy, preferrably a CEO or someone like that: the older the better. Everything should fall into place once you have done that. :)
Dear Kate,
Our activities expand or contract to fill the time we have. I am curious about wich activities have expanded to fill your time. Perhaps charity work? If this is true, then maybe this is a signal to you that you should pursue paid opportunities in this field. Not certain that's your path, but I think when we choose to spend our time doing something it should at least me examined.
I think I have to agree with Helen. When I take time off work, like more than a few days, I am amazed at how much time it takes to go to the drycleaners, grocery store, post office, etc. Next thing you know, it's 5:00 and I wonder how people with jobs (LOL! i.e., me!) do this on a regular basis. I am learning that busyness is not a sign of a full life. Being purposeful does not give you purpose. Perhaps you should stop everything, go outside (it IS summer, after all)and do nothing but just reflect a bit (like a week - do that airport dart board thing, maybe) and come back to see what you see. You may achieve your goal and "see" everything totally differently. We all think that organization and laundry and dumb stuff like that is important. But it isn't. It's just crap to fill your time.
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